One night in Lahore, Elgin asked if we thought Indians or Pakistanis are nicer, or was it if India or Pakistan was the better country?

that's a bit like asking if humans are innately bad or good; in my opinion it really all depends on your luck. if you meet a good person then maybe you will think those people in general are good, vice versa if you happen to meet a bad person who does you harm - and therein lies the fallacy, because people are simply people, whoever and wherever they are. although i do think that having money makes quite a bit of difference in the amount of nice people you meet.

for two countries that have such a history of enmity towards each other, India and Pakistan are strangely quite similar. Urdu and Hindi actually have about 90% similar words in both languages. Drivers in both countries are insane and use the horn instead of side mirrors and signal lights. Everybody asks where we are from and a circle of people quickly grows around us whenever we stop and ask for directions. They both use the sidewards head wobble that means yes, no, maybe and sometimes all three. They both ask if we prefer their country over the other one across the border.

in some fundamental ways, these two countries are different as well. indians revere cows. the pakistanis realise they are a source of food and eat them. hindis are tolerant of all religions (and corresponding crazy people). in pakistan, there are only muslims and islam is the only way. india also attracts a lot more tourists with the result that we were stared at as if we were celebrities in Pakistan, which sees very little foreigners. Loads of people came up to shake hands and take photos with us. There was even an irritating situation in an ice cream parlour where 2 guys started videoing us without our consent and then sat besides us on the seats at the same table and just stared at us. They're probably gay and it was really irritating.

Most Pakistanis are aware and saddened by the negative image that their country has in the world spotlight. When there was a blackout at a mosque we were in (listening to Qawwali music), a strange old man materialised out of the darkness and smiled at me : "Lahore is beautiful...? Lahore is beautiful...?"

I was a bit taken aback firstly because i dont really like being creeped up upon but secondly and more importantly it was because of the way he said those words. It was as if my validation that Lahore is indeed a beautiful place, that we are enjoying ourselves here, that we like his country, is really important to him. it was like he was half steeling himself for rejection but was compelled to ask anyway.

I do like Pakistan. Despite the frequent power outages that occur every 2 or 3 hours and can last for hours. Despite the fact that we are mobbed almost everywhere we go by Pakistanis on the streets. Despite that fact that i am unable to communicate and have to use crude sign language and have one syllable conversations with everyone. Despite the fact that running water is limited and can run out at inconvenient times, that it is unbelievably hot and i get cooked by my bed and that the tuk tuk drivers keep charging us tourist rates.

Pakistan is also a land where people are welcomed with a warmth that is rarely experienced in other countries, especially my home country. it is a land of survivors, bonded by and through bloodshed. it is eternal, the site of the first human civilization to be birthed upon this world. i am constantly amazed, both in India and in Pakistan, by the way people can go about their lives in complete acceptance of the shitty hand that they have been dealt.

In Pakistan, i suppose this is because of their unshakable faith in their religion. Inshallah, a word that i hear most often, means "God Willing". Inshallah, i shall climb Duran Peak in my life. Inshallah, i will meet you here tomorrow. Inshallah, it will be done. Because if God isn't willing, there's nothing much you can do about your life. They entrust their lives totally to their God and in some way, that is both terrifying and beautiful.

In India, i believe this comes about because of the way they perceive their lives. In western societies (of which Singapore is one), people look at other more successful people and they get unhappy with their lives. They desire upward advancement and success because it is all around them. It is portrayed in the media as something to be strived for, thus quite a few people experience some form of status anxiety, of needing to keep up with the Joneses.

In India, people look at the dying beggars on the street, at the leper begging without his hands, and the child lying face down in the dust and they think to themselves, thank God that isn't me. My life is very good in comparison, and thus they accept their lot in life.

This isn't to say that people from both countries do not strive at all. In fact, Indians are one of the most entrepreneurial people on the planet (look at Fortune 500) and Pakistanis are immensely resourceful given their circumstance. They are just able to handle a lot more shit and get on with life than i probably can. In this i am humbled and also encouraged. I used to believe in meritocracy and if you also believe in meritocracy then you should pay a visit to both countries. There can be no such thing as meritocracy in such complex (because of their respective populations, religions, differences and size) and varied situations.

Meritocracy assumes that someone out there actually gives a shit about your worth as a human being and that you actually have a chance to make things happen for you in your life. For a lot of people, there is no such thing as having free choice in their lives. By their luck, they are born beggars and they will die unwanted and alone as one in the dust. Think about it for a second (just one), and that could be you, if you were so lucky.

Luckily, that isn't me. Luckily, i have the gift of free choice, of being able to do whatever i want with my life. I realise that this is a precious gift not given to all and it would be a poor thing to throw it away. In one of my classes, i remember talking to some girl who mentioned that she really liked social work but here she was studying accountancy. when i enquired as to why didn't she just become a social worker instead of doing something she didn't really like, she mentioned that it was "not realistic and practical". that, to me, is throwing away the gift of free choice that you have and in some way you have become as poor as that beggar lying in the dust.

As we were leaving Lahore, we passed by a huge crowd of policemen, fire engines, ambulances and news vans. When we wondered what had happened, our driver told us : "bomb. bomb."

a cleric who was outspoken against the Taliban had a suicide bomber set loose on him. The mosque he was in got obliterated. We didn't see the actual scene of carnage because we were in a taxi leaving for the border. that time was 3.30 pm, if my memory serves me right.

the inn which we stayed in is located about 500 metres away from the epicenter of the blast. The actual plan which we had was to leave at 2.30 pm for the border. Due to a series of unfortunate (?) events, we were held up in another part of the city (Anarkali) which was about 1 km from the epicenter for about an hour and so left later. The bomb was detonated at about 2.45 pm or so, close to 3 pm, close to the route that we were to take out of the city (there is only one main road to the border).

Even though i doubt that we would have come to any harm if we were closer to the epicenter at the time of explosion (it wasn't a very powerful bomb, relatively speaking), we certainly avoided a lot of chaos and loss of hearing as well as any loose shrapnel. i would like to take this time to thank my guardian angel, who has been pulling overtime for 6 weeks now already.

More important was that even though a bomb had just wiped a few people and half a building off the face of the earth, the streets were still jam packed with people going about their business. The ever present snarl of traffic, the ubiquitous jams, sound of horns and people almost getting hit continued unabated. The city lives on. It has no other choice.

I do wish to come back to Lahore and Pakistan. Perhaps in about 2 years' time (i have many other places to go). Then, maybe, the sun will have shone on Lahore again and dried up its tears.

Inshallah, of course.