We are now in Calcutta. All i can say is that there is a reason why Mother Teresa set up shop here. I have never seen a grittier, grimier hot bed of human suffering (until i go to africa i think)

The city is designed to kill people, if not quickly by reckless drivers then slowly by the amount of pollution and the baking heat that sears the air and seems to come out from the ground itself.

the streets are narrow, convuluted, filled with potholes and other twisted debris. once, when our tuk tuk was sandwiched in the middle of the street, it really looked like something out of the streets of Mogadishu in Black Hawk Down. with lines of bazaars seeling everything from fried unspeakable things to cloth to rattan, barbers, tailors, rickshaw men pulling huge loads of goods...the sights and colours around us were overwhelming and the amount of human traffic and the scant disregard for their safety by motorists is also amazing.

Our ride to our hotel location was like a jungle safari, filled with twists and turns down back alley ways while raw sewage poured forth in the gutters beside us. Babies and beggars lay face down on the street, some on a thin strip of rattan, others their faces simply touching the pavement, still and unmoving. (even now as i type this in an internet cafe, a beggar is tapping me on the shoulder asking for some spare change)

the rules of the jungle where traffic is concerned is pretty simple: the bigger you are, the more right of way you have. Thus, pedestrians are at the lowest priority scale, followed by bicycles, tuk tuks (which we were riding on) , cars and then heavy vehicles and trains. i remember our tuk tuk banged into a bicycle on the way here actually although there was no one riding it at that point of time. Going against the flow of traffic is also commonplace and near misses happen with such frequency i was forced to tip my driver extra in admiration of his skill.

we somehow have two days to spend here. God save our soul.


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On a lighter note, the 27.5 hour train ride was endlessly eye opening. Travelling in Sleeper Class meant that we were able to interact with the everyday, middle to lower class indians that comprise the country. Here are some of my observations in a nutshell (since roger and elgin are also writing about it and they will have pictures)

- we met two really nice indians, "Lion" (we called him by his nickname cos his real name is too hard) and Ramu. Ramu is a train driver of the train that we were sitting in (although off shift) and lion is a shrimp businessman. they are both 37 and 35 respectively. The thing about indians is that they are endlessly inquisitive.

They kept asking us everything agout Singapore, our education system, our politicial system, our school lives, love lives, prostitution, marriage laws, dowry laws and the type of food that we eat (in addition to a multitude of other things)

- they were also very educational themselves, telling us about the different temples in that region of Andra Pradesh and how they themselves lived their lives. for example, if you have more than 3 children, you are not allowed to run for public office in india. they themselves also have no idea why.

- prostitution is illegal in india, except for parts of bombay and calcutta. in those areas, apparently there are also brothels for women only (although this may be an error in our hearing. their accent made it a little entertaining when we tried to communicate)

- guys generally marry between 20 to 25 and women between 18 to 25. Ramu is "divided" and lion has 2 kids.

- ramu didnt understand when i asked him what happens if the bride's father refuses to pay dowry.

- lion very nicely shared his dinner with us. it was incredible. a true singaporean's dream (super cheap and good). it costs 25 rupees which is about 80 cents. you get a mountain of rice (enough to feed 2 hungry guys), 3 different curries and vegetables, goat's milk, salt and some chilli crackers. it was totally amazing i have never tasted such nice spices before. its not like the spice in singapore where after you eat you need to go to the toilet.

this one was very easy on the stomach and it was delicious, especially since you are supposed to mix every damn thing together and eat them. what is even more amazing is that a total stranger shared his meal with us at no cost and at no prompting. ramu and lion both dropped off before we hit calcutta.

-ramu himself made an interesting series of observations: 1) "my country is becoming more developed but the people are getting poorer". 2) your country is called singa-poor but it is very rich. 3) when other people come to india, we treat them very nicely but why does everyone in other countries treat indians so badly?

- i have never felt such oppressive heat in a vehicle before. it is the equivalent of riding in an armoured vehicle for 27.5 hours but with more space to move around in. i drank like a drunk but i still felt the breath being sucked out of me. even the other indians in our cabin could see that we were suffering cos they kept advising us to take the air conditioned compartments next time. "I think a/c is better for you ya?"

- another indian (whose name we sadly didnt catch) gave us what appeared to look like guava to eat. He also gave us free bottled water. real nice guy but very quiet and kept to himself. we saw him at calcutta station holding his guy friend's hand (apparently guys in india hold hands) and shook his before we left.

- we broke every rule of hygiene - ate with bare hands, ate food from a stranger, drank goat's milk, didn't wash hands after going to the toilet (no soap and water) but we are still fine. in fact, my digestive system is better than it was in singapore when i eat oily or spicy foods. makes you wonder which country is cleaner in reality.

- we saw beggars get on and off at every station stop. 2 shirtless young boys, 2 girls with women, two old women and one old woman who was a leper as well. her fingers were stumps, eaten away by the disease and she had no toes on one foot as well. she came onboard at a station close to midnight but was moved off the train by some police officer with a gun.

roger asked me if leprosy is contagious. leprosy is like AIDS. it isnt contagious in the sense that you wont get it if someone touches you but if their fluids come into contact with you then you may be screwed. i passed the leper woman on the way to the toilet but she didnt say anything at all.

the funniest beggars would be the ones at chennai station itself. they were transvestites and they loved elgin. they fondled his chin in an effort to try to get cash out of him. i merely got a pat on the cheek while roger was busy trying to appear busy with stuff in his bag. quite aggressive though but hey, they weren't pretty enough =)

- a whole motley train of vendors selling items triapsed through our cabin at all hours of the day (except when ppl were sleeping at night). Shouts of "chai! chai!" and various other food items being peddled. we even saw chains and locks being paddled and shoestrings and IT products like thumbdrives and flashlights.

- on a train, the dustbin and the toilet is actually outside the train. everyone throws stuff out the window or the door (which is also left open so you can actually look outside the train full bodied)

at first we felt a bit paiseh throwing out stuff through the window (cos we are singaporean) but we eventually got into the spirit of things and chucked away.
when you pee or shit, your waste also goes through a hole onto the tracks. hence, there is a sign in the toilet which advises against peeing or shitting when the train is at a station for this reason. it is supposed to help prevent stations from smelling like shit and piss but in actual fact the whole of india (almost) smells like piss and shit.

- the indian countryside fluctutates between 3 scenarios: 1) arid african wasteland
2) arid sparsely populated farming community 3) slumdog millionaire

it is exactly like the movies and the books that you read. i was in fact amazed at the accuracy of novels, i literally got the same feeling from reading books last time about india and africa and actually seeing the place unfold before my eyes. it is/was exactly the same as i imagined it to be, or rather very very close.

- indians like to shake their heads from side to side. this can mean : "don't worry about it", "it's ok", "yes, in a sense" or "whatever". this shaking of the head is not done vigorously. it is a somewhat gentle, nonchalant motion that involves the neck more than the head itself. the head sorta pivots sideways with the neck as the fulcrum.

- calcutta and chennai are seriously quite hellish. roger believes its the shittiest city he has ever seen in his life. i think i will concur. but i do like the grittiness of it. and the fact that indians have an inexplicable ability to make any system, no matter how shitty, work well enough for them. if you want to see a true free market, come to calcutta.

- you should visit calcutta or chennai at least once in your life. then you will know despair in some form. (especially if you imagine yourself as one of the street beggars)


elgin has all the photos! and the net here is too slow for them all to be put up; so...just too bad.

enjoy till the next post about calcutta. we are going to try to explore it and survive pollution.